| C'est La merde |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|02:35 pm] |
ummmm...I'm thinking about picking up Houou again because there are a few things that need to be changed. I'm not going to partake in a total revamp but I'm updating the existing pages with a challange to the old and a litle bit for a new. I won't say much right now because I don't know how much time I have and how much crap is comming down the poop shoot at me. I do have plans for new pages and they'll probably all proceed now to be digital. This is mostly a thought because things aren't going very fast as it is and I'm not going to get a scanner when I have a pretty little tablet at the moment*bobs to Roxette*.
Anyway, looking for a place to stay and it's hard but yeah. Things are ok now but they would get worse. I hope they won't but they have and come and gone as far as threats go. I"m in store for some revamping of my own here soon.
Anyway, talk to you all soon and hopefully with some new pages and more frequent updates. |
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| funny quizes and Houou News |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|01:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Untitled-Simple Plan | ] |
Congratulations! You're destined to be the one love
of Folken la Cour de Fanel. Tall, handsome,
with those killer black wings, he's a soulfully
tragic man with a brooding personality and a
harsh shell of emotionlessness surrounding his
loneliness. Maybe you're the one to bring him
out of his shell.....*winkwink*
Who Is Your Destined Escaflowne Soul Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla
Von is severely fuckable...I would do him*grin*
Well done! You've snagged Van Slanzer de Fanel, the
young King of Fanelia! A white-winged angel
with a heart of gold, this headstrong, stubborn
yong man is quite a catch! Lets hope you can
handle him....^_-
Who Is Your Destined Escaflowne Soul Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla
Guess who I am^^
What Escaflowne Character Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.
Ok I've had too much fun for today
For Houou peoples, I have gone back on schedule for a short time and I'm not sure if it'll be like that for a while or not. The 14th, 30th, and 15th of October will have updates. After that, it all depends on how busy I am. I'm having a bit of an artist block so it might go back on a short and temporary Hiatus for a while after 15th of October. Bare with me^^;
Thank you and see you all very soon,
-MEL |
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| I'm in the rant mood everyone^^ |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|12:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eric Clapton Unplugged | ] |
oh yes...my life sucks balls
Some explainations are in order:
1>I'm plugged up the ass with homework from school so I can't even shit sideways let alone look anywhere else but forward at the homework.
2>The school has recently put a firewall on the all the computers in the school so that I can't get to DA or Livejournal sucessfully.
3>The Librarian in the school has a anal retentivity problem and always has the library quarenteened off from anyone getting in to use the computers at any time.
4>I don't have internet any longer at my house because it was a little too distracting.
5>I can never have internet at my house because the computer I had for it was fried in a random electric storm that shot a bolt of lightning through it just to spite us(that will be the 18,000 time that I've lost all my artwork and stuff and no one is hear to fix the stupid thing).
6>My mom has such bad credit that I'll never have the hopes of getting a better computer or Laptop.
7>The computer I'm working off of now is so slow and old that it could never handle any internet service let alone a new program to be downloaded onto it.
8>I have a huge paper due in two days and it has to be about 7 pages long but without the internet at my fingertips, It most likely won't get done and it's worth a huge portion of my final grade in English.
9>OWC library has all my research information but is so far away from my house I have to pay a toll bridge fee everytime I wanna go there.
10>OWC Library is only open on Saturdays from 9:45 to 1:00pm.
11>My boyfriend's car that was taking me to OWC is in the shop and has no chance of getting out of there anytime soon.
12>Anyone that could take me(I don't have a driver's license because we don't have a car I can use or have the ability to pay for insurence on my ass) doesn't want to go because they have internet at their house.
So here I am, fighting through the Destin trafic(through 2 hours behind the santa float) to make it to a Library that has internet only to find out that it's out of my district and will cost my mom $35 dollars to get a membership with. Tell me I don't have a reason to live anymore?
As for Houou...Everytime I go to draw(not only do I have homework up my ass) I don't have the energy or talent to complete the next page. Plus I'm always tired and I just suck at art period. However, with christmas break right around the corner, I hope to sucessfully sit down and finish some pages for the comic.
Sorry for the long wait...I can't stand imperfection. |
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| rage isn't fun kiddies |
[Oct. 18th, 2004|10:35 am] |
OMG!!
With that out of the way, I will explain. I continue to have no internet at my house and it kind of sucks but I'm kind of happy I don't have it because it makes me slack off from doing my homework and reading and drawing and yeah! My AP English teacher would be proud of my long sentences*stabs herself in the eye with a pencil* Anyways, that really isn't what's chapping my ass. What really is chapping my ass is this:
I want a laptop!
That's the first conflict. Second:
I have no money
Third conflict:
It costs at least +2 clams(thousand dollars)
Fourth conflict:
I don't make but 20 dollars(at the worse) for babysitting at a time
Fifth conflict:
The one I have had my eye on for at least a year is out of stock at all stores in this area and can't be ordered
Sixth conflict:
The store is trying to sell me the upgraded version for the same price(1800) to which it needs all these touch ups to become as kick ass as the one I had my eye on in the first place for the same price.
Seventh conflict:
To spiff up the upgraded version it will cost about as much as the super-amazing-uber-kick-ass one that I can't afford(2500).
Eighth conflict:
The store doesn't have layaway but has a credit card system that doesn't help me any because my mom has bad credit.
Ninth conflict:
I have eight months to get up enough money to pay for it because I'm being kicked out of the country at that time.
Tenth conflict:
My LIFE SUCKS!!!
End rant- |
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| quick update for houou'ers... |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|10:22 am] |
This is just a quick little journal to people who actually read my comic. My computer at home has been fried by lightning a couple weeks ago. That means simply, the comic will not go up until that gets fixed. If time presses on too far I might put the comic on hiatus because school has started and I'm REALLY busy. I don't know...depends. I have half of the page done but it might not go up for a while.
I know you must hate me for saying it but I'm just about ready to keel from all the homework and hard work I have to do this year. I'm really sorry</3 |
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| To Houou'ers |
[Aug. 1st, 2004|02:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aiiiii | ] |
| [ | music |
| | anastasia-on a journey to the past | ] |
Ok, so now it's 2:30 in the morning(stomping grounds time usually for me) and I have the biggest headache, imaginable. This whole 'headache' is most likely a burn out signal of being a perfectionist too many years because I've spent a good four or more hours working on the panels for the new page and come to no avail. I've borrowed a camera to study head tilts and possitions to model off only to realise anime doesn't really have realism in it, at least not to the last detail...like I was working...
Oi...
Anyways, I am procrastinating as usual and the comic will be put up in a couple days or so. I have babysitting later on in the day(kind of odd to say that when it's dark out still ><;) so depending on how good they are...I might get it done. I'll try before I go but to tell you what's been holding me up...it's my planning. For the first page, I was really lucky because I had a clear view in my head how the panels would be arranged, how many, and what angle they'd show. It was pure luck on my part it came out so well because I don't draw scenery often, let alone winter blizzards. Also, I had been doing some research on the internet to help and I couldn't find a lick of it. I was also looking into photography books at the bookstore...nothing...looked into manga...nothing...I was on my own so I used my memory from many years ago as a kid playing in the snow and got something that was half way decent. I'm happy with it but the second page is giving my a very hard time. I've been trying to decide what is "too" slow and what is "too" fast for manga and it's driving me crazy because I can't draw folds very well, I have to scrap the folding tent scene a bit and fast forward. I had planned to have this one panel of Yarlo looking out saddened and it turned out in the end(after four times of trying)shitty beyond belief so I'm going to cut that panel out all together. Makes me sad because it adds to the whole thing but I just can't do it. So now, I figured I work a bit off of what I'd planned but do it with a twist, something I got as a brainstorm when I was working frustrated over the paper tonight. I'll also put up my planning page on DA soon but not until the page is up on keenspace. So a couple days and everything will be back, I hope.
Also, I've not been able to sleep at night because of my fear of the return to High School and a terrible schedule that awaits, next year. It might mean the comic going on Hiatus for a while, I dunno. Usually I get so caught up in homework, it takes away all my muse to work on anything else. I hate it but it's going to get worse, I assure you. Back to deadlines and projects I'm not interested in and procrastination beyond belief. Chapter one in Houou is what has made the delays half a month because of all the scenery that will be comming up. As soon as we're past the whole thing, I might put the updates sooner like every two weeks or once a week...I can't be certain.
Creative processes and good art always come in the least expected times and least stressful situations.
Summer's been great and I really hate to see it go.
Le sigh...I know no one really cares, they just want me to put out a page..you wait all this time and have things late...oi I know that anger that comes from something being late...I've been through it first hand. But this isn't something you read in an American newpaper everyday or every sunday in color. This is a story of the turning of prescheduled lives into free will...it's not meant to make you laugh every week and lift your spirits...it's as serious a story as something you'd read in a novel with words, only instead of imagining the places from the vague descriptions, you see the world through the eyes of someone who's actually been there almost everyday for the past four years. Something beautiful and unique...it takes time to get it right, I'm afraid and I don't believe there is many mangaka artists, except maybe clamp or the creator of "saiyuki", that undertake such a beautiful atmosphere and lush, fantasy setting as Houou. Sure I could probably put the same characters in unimainative clothes and put them in a sitcom like atmosphere for your viewing pleasure but then I'd be no better than the whore at the mall that does charactures for money of tourists who all look the same. Sure what the hell, right?
I'm really sorry but the answer is no...I have a lot of people I look up to in the mangaka business that aren't pros and who are and I see hope for my story that has burned brightly within me for so long, I couldn't stand to kill it off. I've tried to start it before and maybe I should have waited until I had at least chapter one done to start but I figured I should have the full force of deadlines on my from day one. I guess I'm just a huge perfectionist and I'm sorry to all...
_.End rant._
Page will be up this week or I'm giving upX3 |
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| yay more shitty poetry and prose |
[Jul. 29th, 2004|03:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | yayness | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I miss you- Blink 182 | ] |
this one is dedicated to my Emoutochan^^ She writes so beautifully and puts up with me talking so much^^;
The Brotherhood
Calling to the trees, the living of the forest
Above death that escapes occassionally with a roar that reverberates upon the evergreens.
Call it home because everything’s there for them.
The brothers, 12 counted.
They don’t play by the rules and they each stick to their own.
A perfectly proportioned individual.
Jewlike in appearance, the perfect organism,
Living off the land like what was always planned.
They live in freedom and own nothing but what they can claim for themselves.
They are seen as evil in their wicked existance and live like theives,
Completely misunderstood.
Only they know what they are and only they can smell, see, and taste the life the earth provides them.
Boundless spirits, corralled into sleek ebony caskets
The sky is their limit but not the end.
They mornfully reflect together when the weather is below and feed one another when other takes ill.
Dips and dives, loops and landings,
They often outdo that of human aerobatics.
The sad day when they fall or miscalculate,
The wing, pulled back obscurely, inflicting as much pain as feisibly endured.
One seeks help from the other life in the area,
Only to bravely die upon a steel table, the cold seringe their last encounter,
The last battle fought.
They morn again, 11 in count this time
Only to understand man had his hand in playing god again.
-MEL |
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| ON THE NEW HOUOU PAGE... |
[Jul. 18th, 2004|09:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ordinary day-vanessa carlton | ] |
Ok peoples(and anyone that's actually interested in finding out 'What the fuck' is up with the new page),I must clarify one huge misunderstanding that I'm sure will be in most people's minds. "WTF is that thing in the first panel?" Well, since Unmei Sekai; the planet or world that Houou's story takes place on, is a planet under no influence of planet earth and[earth]formally doesn't exist, if you just wanna know the truth. So, in the light of this revelation you must say to yourself, "If it's a world nothing like earth, why would it have a standard tent in it?" That's what a logical, normal person would ask. So, if I had drawn a normal tent, out in the middle of the tundra(yes that is a snow blizzard on a tundra>3 evil ne?) ;known as Amenstrad(ah-mehn-straade); it would have raised observations and annoying questions later.
To find out more about this "Tent", go to the gallery on the site or click here
Yay for completion...next page is in serious jeopardy of being late as well...the creative juices, you know...
chill and enjoy
-MEL |
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| interesting quiz and a personal update... |
[Jul. 16th, 2004|10:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Titanic orchastration piece-"?New Hope?" | ] |
With that now aside>3 On with news...
For Houou'ers, the new comic page should be done soon, that's all I can really promise at this point in time. I'm also working on my "secret" character pages for Houou and am going to decorate with chibis in "living" cg color. That's all I really have to say for now to Houou'ers. Faze out now if you're not interested in hearing the stupid things I have to exclaim about me life...Thanks for all the suport and reading my comic^^
For everyone else, My mom just got her paycheck in so that means "yayness" as I wiggle a little dance. Me and mom went shopping today and I picked up this cool little ponch/shawl that's a dark pink. It's pretty but it was on the expensive side@@; For me anyways>3 We also went to the movies and seen I, Robot which turned out everything I'd imagined it would be. I don't think I've been impressed much with movies since I went to see Chronicles of Riddick and before that the last Lord of the Rings installment. Movies have always been going down hill but I still keep going to the odd one or two that looks good. In a couple weeks I'll go see Harold and Kumar because it looks hilarious. I'm not interested in Spider man because of the horrible main actor...although Doctor Ock looks well protrayed, it's not enough to salvage the movie for me...plus that bitch gets on my nerves, she's so see through with her less than terrible talents as an actress. Mary Jane was really attractive and spiderman was just as good looking, how they dug up these shit faced actors and actresses is beyond me. Anyways, my movie was fine but it was packed because it was the first night at the rave. Heath and I practiced at our Soul Calibur skills on the arcade version before getting there to the movie theatre a little late but there were a lot of previews. Cellular looks interesting and The Village looks promising but I'll think about it when the time comes around. Anyways, after my mom checked for dad at Starbucks and we had to leave. I got a coffee and then headed off to the bookstore to unexpectedly purchase Charles Darwin's book on Natural Selection, his best work reprinted. I'm happy that I'll have something really challenging to read but I should also read my Reds book too before the summer's over with. I've got my eye on Grim fairy tales next but it'll be a while till a finish Reds, a +600 page book on the evolution of Communism in the United States, and now Charles Darwin's book which looks a bit hefty as well. Also I'm really really stoked because I stopped in at ?Game Spot?(local and nation wide seller of most video games) to find a copy of Soul Calibur 2 to find to my pleasure that they had marked it down to $20. That's a buy worth taking them up on. It is at least a year old now but still that's a great price for any playstation 2 game. Walmart was too busy bringing in shit games to stock it anymore but I'd rather have it at Game spot for 20 then at Walmart for god knows what price. I tried to go after the movie to pick it up there but it was closed so I was promised tomorrow that I might be able to get it. So I'm real happy about everything as life stands. Also, my mom said she'd like to go to Osaka(really awesome japanese resturant here) for supper one night but I'm not sure when right yet. Also I'm working on a piece now that has my tied up because it has to have a tremendous amount of detail for the background of flowers to look right. And that's only the drawing/inking stage; there will also be a big thing with the coloring so I'll be up for a while on that one. But, the comic page comes first so I'm gonna go finish that now so I can have room for my other drawing.
For alida specifically, I need to tell you something really important so I'll write that in a seperate journal...keep an eye out.
I'm happy*does a dance*>3 |
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| for Houou.keenspacers |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|01:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Captain Hook's offer-Peter pan | ] |
The page will most likely not be updated on the 15th of this month unless I can get a substaintally good winter scene to model from. The only way I can get this is if I go to Barnes and Noble and study the "Shirahime sho" manga by clamp because that's the only place with manga styled winter scenes. I can't go until my mom gets some money for coffee which is about two weeks from now. Maybe I might go before this comming friday(?maybe the friday after this one comming up is the one I'll be allowed to go?)but it's not for certain. Good news is however that I will update the website when it is completed and not on the 30th. This is to make up for my loss of updates and courtesy to the reader. I know how frustrating it is to keep comming back to a web manga you love only to see the artist has had a mental meltdown and can't produce a new page for another month which eventually turns into a year....It's completely annoying but kind of understandable.
Anyways, if you'll notice, the page says "AT LEAST" every 15th and 30th which means I'll try as hard as I can from now on to get it up sooner than that. However, like everything and everyone in life, I can't promise anything but will try to keep up to the 15ht and 30th rule.
Please do not be flamed by this notice but take it as heid that I might not be able to come up with it exactly on time due to functions outside of my reach.
-MEL |
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| For people who are interested in Houou News... |
[Jun. 30th, 2004|02:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Celion Dion- ??La Pioux?? | ] |
I may or maynot be able to put up the new Houou page today, it just depends on how smoothly the drawing goes for it. Instead I'll mostly be putting up pictures of the characters in the gallery on site, to keep you interested. I just have to clean a bit of them up for the site but that won't take too long. Anyway, at least you have one thing to look forward to today. Ciao for now...try my best to do what I promised.^^ v |
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| really wierd |
[Jun. 21st, 2004|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  I'm a boobie | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Inu Yasha-I am | ] |
This is got to be the wierdest time in my life. I honestly don't know what I want. I just mill around all day and don't get anything done. It's like a have no energy to do anything except reply to comments on DA and surf the net aimlessly. I don't know why but I'm really disinterested in heath at the moment. I know before I would have given him myself but now I just don't care to. It's not like I don't love him it's something else I can't pin. I don't really feel depressed yet I have no energy to accomplish anything. Wish I knew what was wrong with me but I honestly don't know or care. I'm glad I won't see heath for another couple weeks so I can sort this out. Funny thing happened to me tonight, I was at barnes and nobles reading Trigun Maximum and just minding my own business. Well, these older teens or early 20ish people all sit down and start talking about homework and books and stuff and when one of the guys talked, I could have sworn it was dan. I haven't seen or talked to him in ages since prom(4 months ago) and he was with this girl that I can only assume was amber or just a friend maybe. It's funny how time can pass between two people and they just kind of change or become unfamiliar. Sometimes I wonder if we were really meant to meet one another. It could have been someone else but I'm pretty sure that was his voice. I wish I could talk to him again sometime to just be friendly and all that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2004|01:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  broken spirited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Numb-Linkin Park | ] |
Things always get so complicated when they don't need to be, at least for me. I get to enjoy the night with Heath and all of his nasty ways only to have my mother bring up how "not normal" he is. Part of me wishes that I didn't let the conversation go on but personally I promised myself I wouldn't regret so I guess whatever. I know that my mom's right about how I can't change heath or be his mother and that there's too much he needs to change that I should just give up and that nothing is for certain with him but I just don't wanna give up. I know he's hyperactive and happy all the time and acts like a nut but that's what makes him him or so I've accepted. I enjoy him and not being alone and I don't really feel like I can be unsure of myself around him when so much has happened. He's paranoid my mother said and that maybe a huge problem later on. His parents aren't to be on their bad side or I could be in some really terrible danger physically. I don't know; It's so funny when I hear her say the truth and things I fear and hear in my head about him as whispers all come together in one kind of thing, it always makes me doubt what I'm doing. I just wanna curl up and die because I can't stand to give someone up that I feel for. If I don't have faith in him, who will and what does that say about our relationship if I don't trust him. Personally I wish he'd dump me himself or just use me up to make it easier in getting back to being alone. I don't think I'll survive on my own anymore after this one though. No guy has ever shown any interest in me, makes me see how worthless I am, and I've always had no confidence as I was always the one to start any relationship I ever had. I hate being alone as much as I hate this confusion...I don't know what to do or think... |
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| wierd stuff |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|09:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hmm... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | wonderland-John Meyer | ] |
Well, just finished cleaning up that deviation to put up and I thought I'd put it here too because I'm kind of proud of it^^
Other than this, I went to barnes and nobles today after I took a college algebra test up at the campus this morning at 8 o'clock. I didn't pass to get right into college algebra but I hope that next time I will because that's my last chance until next year starts. Anyways I was shattered when I got my score but I put it behind me as I asked my dad to drop me off at the bookstore. I waited for maybe three hours for Heath to arrive while I pushed myself to read "tsubasa" and "xxxholic" by Clamp. They aren't bad but it just is starting to read them is the problem. When Heath arrived we spent some time together bugging the shit out of the other people in the store. I kept telling him to shush but I gave up after a while when I just got too tired to say it anymore. It was really wierd being there with him in a way because I wanted to be there and yet I didn't. Almost as if I had something better to do but I couldn't place what it was. I haven't seen him in a week and I was a little perturbed about not being able to be more affectionate. It's like I could have been much more but I wasn't going there physically. He kept acting like a little kid poking me and trying to catch me off guard, which was annoying but that's what makes him him and why I love him. I was glad dad was gone but I wish again that I could have just gone with him and done whatever I wanted without fear of my father's rage. Probably bad things would happen if that was ever allowed but I don't particularily care. This whole feeling I had maybe the result of the night before's innsomnia attack I had suffered and the caffine rush I was on where I ended up staying up all night til 6 and just got ready to take my test.
I dunno...kind of saddened things are the way they are I guess. |
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| l337 comix |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|03:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | couldn't be more X3 | ] |
| [ | music |
| | If I didn't have you-Quest for Camelot | ] |
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| what was I thinking? turning off my comp before 3..sheesh |
[May. 31st, 2004|12:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | teh dogshit | ] |
| [ | music |
| | an odd melody with the chorus of "burn burn burn" | ] |
I don't think I can go to sleep tonight without leaving my thoughts behind for tonight. A bit of an important issue has come up in my mind just recently. This issue is something that happened today. It has to do with Heath and involves what my dad said about him.
Today, I called heath like he mentioned I could do in passing on friday. We had a really long talk and I had fun having my spirit lifted by all his jokes and conversation. We basically blew the hell out of 45 minutes on the phone and I never really got to ask him what I wanted to. Finally at the end I managed to slip the question in and I got my answer of busy. Understanding I was curtly going to get off the phone when I hear my dad comming down the stairs. I had to get off the phone in a hurry then and promptly as I silently put down the phone, dad's there and he asks me who I was talking to. I decided to tell him the truth, against my better judgement and he flipped out yet again telling me I needed to break ties to "this loser". (oh will Heath be happy to read that)
Again we began the debate of "why I should break up with his kind" and still I'm unresolved. He said that if I didn't stop communicating with him then he would never speak to me again. Normally, and for anyone that knows me well, I would be happy to obligue my father with his ultimatum but this time I said nothing. Everytime we have these fights, it just seems to create a wedge between my mom and dad. We don't really need this at this point in time. No matter how much my mom hates my dad and no matter how much I hate him, we are a family and we should act like one. I'm so selfish to think only of myself in this matter so now I think I'm offically done.
Dad says that I'm only "allowing yourself to become bogged down when there are others out there waiting for me". Let me just say, I've never been this happy this long and I think that constatutes as a world record. To be happy is selfish but to give happiness to many others is golden. Simply noted, I love Heath, of course, but I don't think it's really appropriate for me to be always trying to sneak to get out of the house to see him and breaking up whatevers left of this group of gypses. Also, as of soon, he will be applying for a job and trying to get his old job back. That means he'll be busy this summer if everything works out ok, which it will. Everyone's busy except me so I might as well step out of everyone's way and make myself busy.
As long as I live in this house, my parents own my life so I might as well accept that. As for Heath, it's not over it just went underground. I still love you but neither of us has time for it. I still hold hope for next year and the next of maybe seeing you but I won't hold my breath. I can't call you anymore but I'll try once and a while but not until after summer's over. Just send me messeges if you still care and that'll be that for now. |
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| kind of funny I suppose |
[May. 30th, 2004|02:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | could be better | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the melody of my alter egos at war again | ] |
I figured out a funny way of doing my 2k thanks page in a two part and fun little way. I put up two previous pictures I'd taken of myself together and started a voting poll in the deviation asking what gender they thought the subject was. To finish up, I'll put the last picture up there for the 2k that will have the manipulated image with me and my alter egos and avatars and what not sitting around me..how gay@@;
Anyways, just sittin' around on the computer at 3:00 oclock again with nothing much to do. My messenger won't work all that well so I can't talk to alida... gay bitch. I dunno; not much is kicking around my head at the moment, just the usual rants of how I need to get art done and stuff. I found out tonight that I can't submit my comic to ROSM because it needs to be toned and inked...that's GAY!! Looks eight times sw33t312 without the inking and the toning. Also, L337 is kind of gay but I finally am getting the hang of it. I kind of already knew how to read it a bit but now I finally know how to use and manipulate it. It's ok but it gets old fast, kind of like MT. Just a few minutes ago I was taking pictures and recording me saying stuff that was "gay" and I realised how badly my eyes move when I don't want them to and how my voice recorded is way gay. I don't know how people stand my uberly uncool voice all the time. PLEASE PEOPLE...DON'T LET ME RANT IN AN UNCOOL VOICE!! IT'S SO....UNCOOL!!!!! I did a bit of singing which sounded better than me talking and I also noticed how bad my lisp is. OMFG...KILL ME NOW!!! PUT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH SO I CAN'T MAKE THOSE STUPID SQWEEKY NOISES I HEAR MYSELF MAKE WHEN I'M SURPRISED OR IN PAIN!!! ARGHHHHH!!!*kills herself to get it overwith*
In other non-related news, I passed grade 11*like I knew I would* with a very good report. To my surprise it was almost straight a's this year which is highly uncommon with me. Mom's taking me to Osaka's to celebrate when her check comes in. Looking forward to that. In funny news, I got in a fight with my dad today and I called him an asswhipe, which he deserved because A. he's an asswhipe and B. he was pissing me off and starting name calling seasons when he was the ass doing all the stupid shit in the first place. He's becoming a bit unbearable at this point in my life; wish I could afford to send him to that party in July so he'll stay out of my hair for a part of the summer. I'm kind of depressed that I can't see much*if any* of heath for my last summer holidays. I mean WTF...My mom doesn't mind me and him around each other but my dad just plain hates him. Heath says his parents are starting a restrainng order against him because he keeps talking to heath in less than amiable ways. I dunno if I believe him but my dad is an ass. I dunno; I talk about heath too much...I know that for sure
My mom wants to go to the acadian festival in August which is in Canada but I don't know if we'll be able to make it. Kind of a shame really; the best side of either of my families is the french but they have their evil shit too. It might still happen but I'm not completely sure of anything. I honestly think a summer holiday with dad gone the whole two months would be bliss but I'll never have that. I'm gonna start a bit of babysitting to pay for some stuff I want but that won't happen for maybe another month from now.
What I need to start doing is working more on my manga and stuff and getting that all squared away and then leave the rest of the summer for a bit of fun. I dunno how I'll manage it but I have to see heath this summer. Kinda wish he could give me some help in that department... |
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| Summer has to be fun, ne? |
[May. 19th, 2004|07:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | doin' ok | ] |
| [ | music |
| | invisible-clay aiken | ] |
Well it's now officially summer for me. I said goodbye to all the teachers I could today and had a little fun with Heath. Something I will never forget and he's someone I'll never forget even if we part a bit. JUST NEED TO REMEMBER TO ASK HIM FOR HIS GODDAMED MAILING ADDRESS!!
What's in store for me now, well first things on the list: complete purge of most food. Yep, diet on the most extreme level but I don't care what everyone says about it being wrong. I'd rather feel good about myself for being smaller than being the blubber ass I am now. My diet will be comprised of: limeade, water AKA Fluids that mostly aren't pop, and cereal or grains. That's about it and I start that tomorrow when I attempt to get more sleep then I have been getting.
Not only can I not see heath this summer but for pretty much a week I'll be going on the road to the boarder to get my mom's visa renewed so she can go back to work because the people at human resources are dicks and didn't file for a new visa like they said they would. Now we have to do it the manual way and not to mention the rent has to be paid and all that or eviction I suppose. It's a tight fit but all the assholes at work COULD DO was remind her that she couldn't come into work anymore until the visa problem was fixed, that was their shit faced mix up in the first place. So joy, I have to be stuck in a cramped car for the next 6 or so days with my bloody parents.
Onto other things, I need to pick up my "A Ninja's Reflection" pages again and get to work. As well all other artwork will commence and I will eliminate my "to-do list" on DA. I also have to find that list of books I wanted to read in my lifetime and start reading, I now have all the time in the world so I need to use it for something educational.
Summer should be generally fun but I'm gonna try my hardest to get out with heath sometime. My dad's got gay rules and I don't wanna hear anymore about them. He's already ruined my life enough, I won't let heath just "go away". |
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| just sittin' because I can^^ |
[May. 18th, 2004|01:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | karoline-outkast | ] |
Well today is day two of three that I have until the end of the school year. Can you say elation? Yes I am elated but I also want tomorrow to be able to go out and do stuff with heath and that souly depends on his mother. See yesterday we skipped after fourth period and spent the next two or so hours together shooting two games of pool, drinking coke, going to the beach, walking in brakish lakes, and having dune grass poke us in the ass. It was all great until coach golf calls heath's mom and they end up looking for us to which she found us as we were heading back to school. His mother and I were both worried that my dad might have gotten a call too that I was skipping and that would be the shit then. My mom knew I'd be skipping and was alright with it as long as she knew where I was. So if my dad got the call it would have been hell's backyard when I got home. Fortunately what happened was it was only coach Golf that called because he just noticed, for once, that heath wasn't in his class and started calling around school trying to find out where he was. In effect, he called his mom and that's as far as it went. No one noticed my absence other than to make me adsent on the roll call, which is fine by me. The only thing heath should have done was contacted his mother so she knew it was ok and now he has no driving privilages for the two days.
You maybe thinking, well that's ok you always have the rest of the week...wrong. He leaves for beluxy*however the hell you spell that* on Thursday and won't be back until the start of summer in a couple days.
Well you're now saying, It's ok, you always have summer together...wrong again. Because my dad hates heath it makes it like 8 fold harder to do stuff with him. If it was just my mom here, she'd let us do stuff but since dad's here he won't let me.
Not even if my mom stood up and told my dad to fuck off about it would he let me go so I wish dad would just disappear this summer. |
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mel_dungeon's journal
